


I’m Your Guardian Angel

by iFanClover



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Character Death, Guardian Angel Reiji AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-09-02 05:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iFanClover/pseuds/iFanClover
Summary: A mere human.A fortuneteller.A missing body.A monster hunter.A broken-hearted soul.A memory wished was forgotten.An assassinated prince.A beast cursed to be.A look-alike to the past.A fallen kingdom.And a Guardian Angel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to a new story I'm writing! This is based off of my Guardian Angel Reiji AU, in which none of the boys are idols (probably pretty obvious).
> 
> Reiji is the Guardian Angel of Ranmaru, Ai, and Camus, who all have pasta that are unknown to most. As their Guardian Angel, Reiji has to gain their trust and protect them from any harm coming their way.
> 
> STARISH is also present in the story. However, there lies tension between some of them, making it difficult for them to interact with each other. Basically, they aren't as close together as a group of friends as in canon.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy this story :3

How long has it been since it happened?

He's lost track halfway through.

But, he can still hear him.

His voice.

So faint.

So far.

Slowly disappearing.

_Don't go._

_Don't leave me._

_Please!_

_Don't go away!!_

~~~~~

Reiji's eyes open. The tree tops form a perfect circle in the almost clear bright blue sky, indicating his past location. Reiji pushes his back off the soft flat ground beneath him. He stretches out his wings, careful to not accidentally break a–

"Ouch!!" Reiji winces. He feels a small "crack" come from somewhere on his body. He slowly stands up and tests the mobility of himself. His body is fine, and so are his wings. So, where did that "crack" come from? He looks behind him to find a broken twig where his bottom would be. ‘ _Oh. . ._ ’ Reiji chuckles to himself while dusting off. "Now, where am I going again?" He peers ahead of him and sees a clearing in the woods, although not as bright as the trees' gateway. "I guess that's the only way." He takes a step forward, and then another. His wings slowly start moving themselves. And, before he knew it, he's off the ground.

Reiji flies above the bustling city, high enough to make him look like a simple bird in the sky. "Now, where was I supposed to meet them again?" he mumbles. "Maybe flying wasn't the best idea. . ." He continues to glide through the sky, looking for the place he's trying to find. Soon, he finds himself in an area where very little people walk around. He spots himself a vacant place and quietly lands, in case there are people nearby. Reiji tucks his wings in and takes in his surroundings. It's nice to see such a bright and colorful place after about fifteen minutes of searching. ‘ _Is this a school?_ ’ He strolls around the place until he sees a nice small sign. "Welcome to Saotome Academy!" it reads.

"Saotome Academy, huh?" Reiji mutters. "Wow, I actually found it. I wonder. . ."

He walks into one of the buildings. ‘ _It's been such a long time since I've last gone here. I can't believe I forgot so much! How could I forget the name and place of this school? How could I even forget this was a school?! God, that must be embarrassing._ ’ Reiji laughs quietly to himself. He turns a corner to find a petite figure with long pink hair talking to a tall spiky-haired redhead. ‘ _Oh, it's them!_ ’

"Hey, Ringo! Ryuya!" Reiji calls out. The two turn his way and smile as he walks towards them. "Long time no see, hasn't it?"

"Reiji!" Ringo, the pink-haired one, gives him a small hug. "Wow, it's been years. You've grown quite a bit."

Ryuya gently pats Reiji on the back, making sure not to hit any sensitive points. "We're happy to see you again." He then leans in so only Reiji and Ringo could hear him. "You're here to meet them, aren't you?" he questions.

Reiji's smile slowly fades into a serious stare. He nods in response. "I was sent down for a reason, you know."

Ringo and Ryuya look at each other, then back at Reiji. Without saying another word, they gesture Reiji to follow them. They walk through countless halls and passages, until they've gone down to a part of the school that barely anyone goes to anymore.

"This place looks so bare." Reiji grazes his fingers against a torn curtain. "What happened here?"

"This was the place where two of our students have been kidnapped," Ryuya explains. "One from the S Class, and the other from the A Class."

"Ryuya's student was able to return in one piece," Ringo continues. "Mine, on the other hand. . ."

Reiji's eyes widen. "Oh," he whispers, "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"He's only missing as of now," Ringo says. "But, it's been three months."

"Ever since that incident, students were too afraid to ever go back into this part of the school. So, it just slowly grew to decay." Ryuya picks up a wilted flower. "It's sad to see such a bright corridor transform into such a nightmare."

Reiji feels his wings move closer together. He should probably change the subject before any "I wish I was there to prevent this" talking. Just thinking about those words make him feel like he's being stabbed in the chest.

"Hey," he chimes in, having found a good subject to change to, "where are they? The ones I have to look after?"

Ringo lights up a little. "Oh, them! They're at the end of the hallway." He begins to gain more steps. "It's a shame this part of the school had to lose its atmosphere, but it ended up working out for us in a way. Because no one would even dare to come here, they were able to stay hidden from everyone."

Ringo and Ryuya stop at the last door that occupies the walls. Reiji steps through them to get closer. He turns around to face his two old friends. "Do you mind if I do this on my own?" he quietly and politely asks. "I want them to know I'm trustable without anyone else to prove it." The other two nod in response and begin to walk off. Now, Reiji is left alone in front of the door. He takes a deep breath, and opens it.

Three figures turn to stare at Reiji. The one who was leaning on one of the desks has silver hair with heterochromatic eyes. The second one is crouching on the floor, tracing the ground in unintelligible shapes. His blonde hair is cut short and bandages wrap over his eyes. The third one there was reading a book at a desk. His light blue hair and dark turquoise eyes make him look all too familiar to someone Reiji used to know very well.

Reiji takes another deep breath. He clenches then unclenches his fists. Finally, he takes a step into the classroom, ready to introduce himself. He opens his mouth, and–

"You're not Ringo or Ryuya," the standing one says in a defensive tone. His voice is deep, yet somewhat soft. He pushes himself off the table and walks up to Reiji. "Who are you?"

Reiji looks up at the first person. ‘ _He's a lot taller than I thought_ ,’ Reiji thinks. ‘ _I underestimated their ages, too._ ’ He takes a step back and straightens himself. "My name is Reiji Kotobuki," he responds. "I was sent down here by the heavens to watch over you three on earth."

The second male returns to drawing shapes with his fingers, but the third never turns back to his book. The first male's eyes narrow. "How do we know you're not trying to take us away for anything that will benefit your wants and needs?"

Reiji breathes steadily. He was expecting a question like that. With a slow breath, he spreads his wings and flutters slightly above the ground. The sunlight from the windows hits him, forming a golden hoop above his head, reflecting said light. Two of them stare at the sight in awe, while the other looks confused. Reiji softly falls to the ground, landing on his feet. He looks at the male with heterochromatic eyes once more. "Is that enough proof?"

The one in front of Reiji takes his hand in his own. "Who _are_ you, exactly?" he asks, the innocent curiosity never leaving his eyes.

Reiji laughs, patting the other on the head with his free hand. "Like I said, I'm Reiji Kotobuki," he answers. "I was sent down here by the heavens to watch over you three on earth. To put it shortly," Reiji glances at the light blue-haired and blonde ones, then at the silver-haired one right in front of him, "you can call me your Guardian Angel!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Chapter 1 finally complete.
> 
> It's shorter than I intended it to be, but no matter.
> 
> I don't exactly know when will be the next time I update this, but I'm gonna try and keep myself up with a very flexible update schedule.
> 
> Thank you for reading this far into my story! I hope you enjoyed what I've gotten so far ^w^


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a week since their very first meeting. Reiji has already learned their names quite well an even given them cute nicknames. The bond they hold has strengthened greatly. He's happy that they all gave him a chance. During all of this, he has made a few notes among them all.

Ranmaru tries to handle his anger, and he's still struggling with that. There are times where he looks like he wants to scream and cry, but he always pushes it back down. It's as if he's scared of becoming something worse than he already is now, not that he's that bad of a person. Ranmaru is a great person! He's the oldest of the three of them, and it seems to show quite well. He tries his best to look out for his two companions and make sure they're as safe as can be.

Ai is more on the quiet side, and would rather just keep to himself. However, he knows how to speak his mind and tends to be very blunt with his words. He's a very intelligent one, though. Despite all of this, he isn't the best at expressing his emotions. Ai would rather tell people facts than opinions, and that probably says a lot about him even as the youngest out of them all. Even so, he's very devoted to staying by Camus' side. But, there's something about him that sends stings of pain into Reiji's heart. He doesn't know what it is, though.

Camus is still a big mystery to Reiji. He never really seems to pay attention to the latter. It's as if he has a mind of his own. Or, maybe he just has trouble talking to new people. Reiji plans on talking to Ranmaru about this soon.

"Hey, Reiji," a vice calls out, breaking Reiji out of his thoughts. He looks up from his seat at one of the desks to the caller. Ranmaru stands in front of him, his hands on opposite sides of the desk top. "Is it okay if we go outside today?"

Reiji blinks a couple of times. Outside? They want to go outside? Well, they have probably not gone out for a long time, being kept in the only abandoned hallway of the school and all. He gets out of his seat and scans the room for Ai and Camus. Reiji finds them both sitting at the front of the classroom. ' _Ai's reading a book to Camus. How sweet!_ ' Reiji smiles as his eyes soften to the wholesome scene in front of him. He turns back to Ranmaru. "So, you all want to go outside?"

"Um, well," Ranmaru looks down to his feet, "it's mainly me. We've been put in this here classroom for such a long time that we never really get a true glimpse of what is outside of here. I want to feel the fresh air again, and I feel that would also be for the best for Ai and Camus, too."

"When was the last time you three have been outside?"

Ranmaru stops to think for a minute. "Um, let's see. . . Maybe five years or so? It's been such a long time that even Ai has forgotten, and he has a very impeccable memory."

Reiji looks over back at Ai and Camus. They just finished reading the book and are starting to walk over here. "What is this about going outside, I hear?" Ai questions.

"Outside?" Camus asks. "Are we really going outside today?" He seems to be rather excited about this. "It's been a while since I went outside. I always liked looking at the trees lined with frost on their leaves. It's always been such a beautiful sight to see. Kurosaki, are we really going outside today?"

' _He almost sounded like a child discovering snow for the first time_ ,' Reiji says to himself. 'It's so cute, but also sounds really sad.' Even as he tells himself He looks from Camus to Ai and then to Ranmaru. "I guess it doesn't hurt to take a nice walk out in the open. We can pretend to be visitors on the school campus!" Reiji walks to the door and opens it widely. "C'mon, my boys!!" he calls with a smile. The other three follow quickly behind him. They walk together, hand in hand, and make sure that they aren't seen by anyone who may happen to pass on by. When the coast is clear, they all make a bolt to an open window and jump out. Reiji and Ranmaru get out very easily. Ai takes a little more time to succeed. When it comes to Camus' turn, he stops abruptly in his steps.

"Camus, it's okay," Ai says, extending his arm. "I'm right here. Take my hand, okay?" Camus slowly and carefully, grasps Ai's hand. "That's it. Now, move slowly so you don't fall out. Just follow my voice. It's okay. There's no need to be scared now."

Ranmaru senses Camus shaking from where he stands next to Reiji. He runs over to Ai's side and jumps back into the building through the window. "Hey, Ai," he says, "make sure you catch him, alright?" He picks Camus up as Ai steadies himself. They carefully transfer Camus into the latter's arms. Reiji watches in awe at how close-knit they seem to be. It's hard to tell since they all look so different, but once you get to know them better you can see the tight bond they have. He feels his cheeks flush at the warming sight in front of him. Once Camus gets his feet on the ground, they walk over to where Reiji is standing.

"Reiji, aren't we going to take a walk, like you said?" Ai asks.

Reiji nods. "Yup! Just follow me, okay?" He turns around and walks down the path laid in front of them. He hears the shuffling feet behind him and smiles to himself. ' _They are all so amazing, but shine the brightest when together. I hope their closeness gets stronger._ ' The more they walk, the more people they see, and the more people look at them in confusion. That is, until a redhead slightly taller than Reiji approaches them.

"Hi there!" he greets. "You four must be new here." He extends his hand out towards Reiji. "My name is Otoya Ittoki. It's a pleasure to be meeting you."

Reiji accepts the hand in return. "I'm Reiji Kotobuki. It's a pleasure to meet you, too!" The two shake hands three times before letting go. Reiji moves aside to make room for his transparent souls. "Why don't you three introduce yourselves to Otoyan?" Camus closes his hand tighter around Ai's as he strengthens his own grip on Ranmaru's arm. The oldest one steps forward.

"My name is Ranmaru Kurosaki," he says. In the distance, a bluenette and a sunny redhead perk up. "It's nice to meet you, Otoya." He nods in Otoya's direction, then wraps his arms around Ai and Camus and lightly pushes them forward. "C'mon, you two. Don't be shy," he whispers to them. "I know it's been years since we last talked to someone outside our classroom walls besides Ringo and Ryuya, but if we want to be accepted, we'll need to branch out in one way or another. So, please?" Ai takes a deep breath and steps out of Ranmaru's hold.

"The name I go by is Ai Mikaze." He takes a deep bow. "I am quite interested into knowing more about you, Otoya Ittoki."

"Please, just call me Otoya!" The redhead laughs. "You don't have to be so formal. I always tell that to Masato and Tokiya, but they never seem to ever let go. But, it is nice to meet you both!" He makes the best he can of eye contact with Camus. "Oh, hello there! Who are you?"

". . . Camus."

"Camus, huh? That's a pretty name!" Otoya grins. "May it be okay to ask, but are you a foreigner?" Camus nods, staying silent and blank. "Wow!! That's really cool! My brother's a foreigner, too. You should meet him someday!"

Camus' eyebrow twitches a bit. "Are you saying that your brother and I will be able to get along simply because we are both foreigners?"

Otoya takes a step back in surprise. "Wh-What? No, that's not what I meant at all! It's just that my brother doesn't have any friends, and he's too scared to make any. So I thought if you two met, then he might be able to make some more!"

"And why me and not anyone else?" Camus' voice starts to rise in volume. "Am I really so different that I needed to be singled out?"

"That's enough, Myu-chan." Ranmaru places a firm hand on Camus' right shoulder. "He didn't mean to spark anything, I assure you."

Camus steadies his breathing. The faint crystals forming on his fingertips soon thaw away. He looks back up to Otoya and mutters a barely audible "Sorry. . ."

"I'm sorry, too," Otoya says. "I didn't mean to get you worked up like that. I'll try to watch what I sa–"

"No, you don't need any reason to apologize." Camus holds his hand out. "May we start over?" Otoya smiles and takes Camus' hand.

"My name's Otoya Ittoki!"

"Charmed. I go by Camus."

Reiji beams in joy. ' _Only fifteen minutes outside and they've already made a new friend! I'm so proud of them!!_ ' He looks up at the sky to find the time. "Oh, why don't you look at that?" He lightly tugs Ai by the elbow. "We need to get going. It's been great talking with you, Otoyan!" Ranmaru takes Camus' hand and gently pulls him along.

"Goodbye!" Otoya waves. "Hope we can talk again soon!"

As the four of them walk away to find someplace more private, Reiji goes on about how they made their first friend. "I can't believe you all did it so quickly and easily!! I'm really happy for you all! Five years or more in an empty classroom, and you still made a new friend." He turns back to them and smiles. "I'm very proud of all of you." Ranmaru, Ai, and Camus look in surprise towards Reiji. "Why are you all staring at me like that? Have you ever been told by anyone about how proud you make them?" After a minute of received silence, Reiji mumbles out an "Oh," and then continues with "Well, if that's so, then I'm happy to be your first!"

They quickly found a nice vacant clearing that they could hang out in. Ranmaru, Ai, and Camus quickly dash across the fresh green field beyond them. Reiji sighs and finds a tree to sit by. He leans back and watches his transparent souls run about in the grass, smiling and laughing as if there's no tomorrow. Reiji couldn't help but smile as well; he loves seeing them getting along just fine. It's a shame that they lost so much to become what they are today. He was beginning to doze off when Ranmaru walks over and sits next to him. Reiji stares at him for a moment. Ranmaru turns towards Reiji. "What are you looking at?"

Startled, Reiji tries to come up with a good retaliation. "Wh-What are _you_ looking at??"

' _Smooth, Reiji. Very smooth._ '

"What do you think?" Ranmaru gestures towards Ai and Camus. The two are sitting together staring at a single golden flower in the middle of the field.

"What are they saying, Ran Ran?" Ranmaru glances over to Reiji, then back to Ai and Camus.

"Here, put your hands under the petals." Ai leads Camus' movements. "Careful now, we don't want to tear it."

"It's very soft." Camus leans into Ai's shoulder. "It feels so real."

"That's because it is," Ai says. "Life is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," Ranmaru quietly repeats Ai, loud enough for Reiji to catch it. He could barely hear their conversation from where they are, but Ranmaru's impeccable hearing came very much in handy.

Reiji gapes in awe. How was he given such great souls to look after? He feels so lucky. "Hey, Ran Ran," Reiji says, "would you mind telling me a little more about you?"

Silence.

Reiji looks away, clearly guilty for bringing up the topic of conversation.

"I don't mind."

The angel perks up immediately and turns to Ranmaru. "Really??"

"Sure, why not." Ranmaru gets himself comfortable against the tree. "I was the heir to a great company. That is, until my father's bastard friend betrayed him and we fell into debt. He's gone now, my father. But, our debt still loves on. I tried my best to repay that debt through working my ass off: I took part in many rock bands as the bassist, leaving behind my childhood in the process." Ranmaru scoffs. "Like I had any childhood in the first place." He turns to Reiji. "Every band I joined quickly disbanded, and I was always left alone. Quickly after my last band disbanded, I met someone who promised to help me pay my family's debt. I was foolish to trust them." His left hand turns into a fist as he clutches the blades of grass under him. "They. . . They turned me into something terrible. So terrible that I won't ever be able to confront anybody from my past ever again."

Reiji places his hand over Ranmaru's fist. "I'm so sorry to hear that."

Ranmaru grits his teeth. "Don't be, I hate when people feel sorry for me."

Reiji silently pulls his hand away and looks at Ai, who's now probably talking to Camus about the butterfly that's now on the flower. "What about Ai Ai?" he asks.

"Ai?" Ranmaru looks ahead to where Reiji was looking. "Well, all I know about him is that he lived in the basement of the school during his first few years. I don't really know much about him, sorry."

"It's okay." Reiji switches his gaze to Camus. The setting sun turns his pale blonde hair into a light peach as the first firefly to appear is sitting right on the tip of his nose.

"You wanna know more about Camus, too?" Reiji nods, pulling his knees to his chest. Ranmaru sighs. "Okay then." He takes a deep breath. "Ever heard of Permafrost?"

Reiji sits up. " _The_ Permafrost? The fallen kingdom?!" He leans in towards Ranmaru. "That's where Myu-chan is from??"

Ranmaru pushes Reiji's face out of his view. "Yeah, Permafrost. Specifically the Silk Palace. He was from a noble family and served the Silk Queen. But, an attack from a small group of outsiders began in his home town and quickly spread around, covering the entirety of Permafrost. Every citizen was murdered. That's what the public believes. But, the truth is that not everyone in Permafrost is gone from the face of the earth. Camus is now the only surviving person from the Silk Palace, and no one except us know. If his existence is somehow let out to the public, he'll get hunted down. So, we're all doing our best to keep his identity safe from any harm."

"Oh, God. . ." Reiji mutters. "That's so horrifying. It's amazing how he's not shaken from the event at all."

"That's what you might think," Ranmaru contradicts, "but that's not the case. He's scared. Very scared. He just doesn't show it at all. But, push the wrong buttons and it will reveal itself. Did you notice Camus' reaction to Otoya?"

Reiji looks back to earlier in the day, and remembers the ice slowly forming on the tips of Camus' fingers. "Yeah. . ."

"Yeah, that." Ranmaru leans a little in towards Reiji. "He has ice powers, but is too afraid of using them. If he's put in a position of fear, his powers will easily get out of control."

"Has it happened before?"

"Yeah, it has. It happened last year. I put my hand on his left shoulder, and it struck him hard. Ai was almost cut in half from that event. Luckily, we were able to calm him down with help from Ringo and Ryuya. Ever since then, we all became more cautious about where we touch Camus, making sure we never lay a finger on his left shoulder." Ranmaru takes Reiji's hand in his. "I advise that you take this information to heart so you don't make the same stupid mistake I made."

Reiji nods firmly. "Thank you for telling me this, Ran Ran."

"Like you said, you're our Guardian Angel," Ranmaru says. "If we don't tell you anything, how will you be able to help us?"

The sun has now disappeared from the sky, bringing out the stars and fireflies about. Reiji and Ranmaru look up at the beauty they're living in.

"I forgot how pretty the nights here are," Reiji says, holding his hands out for a firefly to land.

"Reiji!! Ranmaru!!" Ai calls from his and Camus' spot. "Come over here!!" Reiji and Ranmaru look over to Ai and Camus, smiling brightly. They run over to them as fast as their legs could take them.

The four of them gaze in awe at how many fireflies are in one single place. Reiji has never seen so many fireflies in his life. The same could go for everyone else, except this is their first time ever seeing fireflies out at night. "Hey," Reiji says, "you wanna hear a small myth about the fireflies?" The other three momentarily stop their gazing to listen. "They say that fireflies are born from the tears of a beast. What kind of beast is it? Nobody seems to know." Reiji holds his hand out, giving another firefly a place to land. "It's sad, though, isn't it? Our happiness and this beauty, it all comes from a monster's sadness."

Somewhere in the trees, there hides a boy clutching his knees close to his chest as tears fall from his eyes. As one hits the ground beneath him, a firefly appears.


	3. Chapter 3

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Three of them.

Otoya heard three knocks that night. He left his bed as quickly as he could in his tired state, and trudged down the stairs to the front door. Or, was it the back door? He was too tired at that point. Well, whichever door it was, he opened it. What he saw really did wake him up. It was a boy who seemed to be around his age. He had dark brown hair and tan skin. But, what really made him stand out in the dark pour of rain was his shining, tear-filled eyes. Two teal gems just staring back at Otoya.

"Hi there," Otoya greets, clearly snapped out of his sleepy state. The teal-eyed boy in front of him shivers in response. "Are you oka—"

Before he could finish, the boy falls forward into Otoya's arms. "Cold. . ." he mutters. "S-So. . . Cold. . ." Otoya's eyes widen as he brings the stranger close to give him some of his body heat.

"Here, I'll take you to the couch. I'll dry you off and make you some hot chocolate. Is that okay?" The teal-eyed boy nods into his chest. "Okay then. C'mon, let's get you there."

After a good drying, Otoya gives the boy a cup of hot chocolate, just like he said. "Be careful, it's still hot," he whispers. The teal-eyed boy nods, gently blows on his cup, and takes a small sip.

"It's really good," he quietly says. "Thank you."

"No problem!" Otoya smiles. He was happy to help someone else. "Oh, by the way, my name is Otoya Ittoki. What's yours?"

The boy stares at his cup for a few seconds before meeting his teal eyes with Otoya's scarlet red ones. ". . . Cecil. My name is Cecil."

"Aww~! That's a really cute name!" Otoya compliments. "Are you, by any chance, not from here?"

Cecil tenses up suddenly. "Wh-What makes you say that?"

"Your name, duh. That, and your accent." Otoya chuckles. "Hey, I think it's cool that you lived somewhere completely different from here! You should be happy about that."

Cecil relaxes his body, but doesn't smile. "Yeah. . ." Otoya senses that Cecil wasn't very comfortable talking about his home place.

"Oh, I'm sorry about bringing it up. Let's change the—"

"No, it's okay," Cecil interrupts. "I think it'd be best if I finally get this off my chest." He places his now empty cup down on the small table in front of them. "My name is Cecil. I am from the country Agnapolis. You may have never heard of it, though."

"Oh, I think I have," Otoya says. "I believe it was on the news one time." Cecil tenses up again. "It was years ago, so I don't exactly remember what it was all about."

Cecil takes a deep breath. "I see. . ." He pulls his coat tighter around him. "My father is the king of Agnapolis. My mother arrived in Agnapolis from a plane crash. That's what my father told me."

"Plane crash?" Otoya questions. "My mom died in a plane crash a year after I was born. I don't really remember much, but I never forgot the warm look in her eyes. The memory of her smile always kept me going."

"I'm really sorry to hear that," Cecil said. "You may have not known her for very long, but it's nice to see that you two still have a very tight-knit bond."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Otoya sees the tip of something glimmer in Cecil's pocket. "Hey, what's that?"

Cecil glances to where Otoya was asking about, and pulls it out. "It's a locket I keep with me. It holds photos of my family." He opens up and shows it to Otoya. "Here, it's a picture of me and—"

"Mom?"

Otoya and Cecil stay in sudden silence, surprised and shocked. Cecil knew deep down that this boy was related to him somehow, but he didn't expect that they'd have the same mother. Otoya, on the other hand, is beginning to tear up; after all these years, his own mom who he thought was dead is still alive and smiling.

"Mom. . ." Otoya repeats in a quieter tone. "She's. . . She's still alive. . ." He slowly reaches for the locket, in which Cecil allows him to hold. He gently rubs the locket now in his hands. "Does she still remember me?"

Cecil holds back a breath, then sighs out. "I'm afraid not." He looks Otoya in the eye. "Apparently, the crash gave her amnesia, forgetting everything before her sudden arrival in Agnapolis. I'm really sorry, Otoya. . ."

Otoya's hands begin to tremble. Tears stream down his face in slow drops to the couch. "No. . ." he weeps. "My mom— _our_ mom—doesn't know who I am anymore? She forgot about me."

Cecil looks away, guilt rising quickly inside him. He didn't know how else to break it to him. Everything just seemed so sudden, maybe too sudden. He reaches for Otoya and pulls him into a hug. "I'm so sorry," he mutters. "I really am."

"Mom. . ." Otoya returns the hug, quietly sobbing into Cecil's shoulder. He wept until he fell asleep in Cecil's arms. Cecil carefully lays Otoya's body on the couch. He stares at him for a moment before yawning himself.

"Good night, big brother," he mutters before falling asleep on the floor.

~~~~~

That encounter happened about eight months ago, and Cecil never forgot it. He and Otoya quickly became close as they learned more about each other. At that point, they really did feel like brothers who have always known each other since the beginning. Cecil is happy. He's happy to find Otoya. He's happy to see that he could finally start over. He's happy to be himself and not viewed as anything else.

"Hey, Cecil!" Otoya calls into Cecil's new dorm room. "Have you unpacked everything yet? We're about to go meet the others."

"Yeah, just placing my stuff on my desk," Cecil calls back. "I'll be down in a minute!" Cecil finishes putting everything in place and stands up in delight. "Alright, here we go." He sets the suitcase in his closet and walks out of his room. Today is going to be difficult for him. He's now attending Saotome Academy with Otoya. It's been a while since he's ever interacted with people in public, so he's nervous on how the day will go. Otoya told him to not worry so much, though, so he's trying his best to follow his brother's word.

"Aww, look at how great you look!!" Otoya gives Cecil a big hug. Cecil freezes up at first before taking a breath and hugging Otoya back. The two stay in this position for a few more seconds before Otoya breaks the hug and takes Cecil's hand. "C'mon, let's go find my friends! I'm sure they'll be glad to meet you!"

Cecil weakly pulls back. "Are you sure about that, Otoya?" he asks, uncertainty laced through his tone. "I mean, well, wouldn't it be better if I just stay anonymous?"

"I'm positive, Cecil!" Otoya beams. "I'd be so happy to see you getting along with others. You being all alone isn't the best thing I want for you, of course. So, please?"

Cecil hesitates pulling back when he sees Otoya’s hopeful eyes. He takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay,” he mutters. “If it makes you happy.”

Otoya’s smile widens to this response. “Yay!! Let’s go then!” He tugs on Cecil’s hand, slightly launching him forward. “I’m sure they’d be ecstatic to meet you!” Cecil follows behind, trying his best to keep up with his brother’s speed.

It doesn’t take very long for them to get outside where most of the students seem to be. There’s a lot of people that go to this school, giving Cecil an uncomfortable twitch deep inside. While looking at his surroundings, his keen eyesight notices three human-like shadows in a classroom window. However, these are the only people who inhabit that certain part of the school. “Hey, Otoya?” Cecil asks. “How come there aren’t any people in that part of the school?” Otoya stops in his tracks and slowly turns to Cecil, not saying a single word. The unsettling silence between them becomes obvious to others, causing any nearby students to move away from them. “O-Otoya?”

Otoya’s serious expression changes into a sad smile. “I forgot to tell you about this that night, didn’t I?” He chuckles weakly. “Here, let’s take a detour.” He turns back and starts walking again. Cecil was hesitant to follow, but he decides to anyway because he didn’t want to waste Otoya’s time. The two continue their walk in silence, only having the chatter of other people and their footsteps being their background noise. They soon find themselves at a bench in a garden, surrounded by sunflowers. Otoya sits down on one side and gestures Cecil to sit next to him. They stay in this silent state for a minute longer, until Otoya starts to speak again.

“Remember three months ago, while you were at home preparing to come here with me? You were ready to leave, and called me that night. You were excited to go to the same school with me, your brother.” Cecil remembers that memory very fondly. He never understood why Otoya sounded so sullen and told him to wait a couple months. “Well, the night before that, two students were attacked and kidnapped in that hall. What made it worse for me was that they were good friends of mine. When you called me the next night, saying how you were ready to go, I became scared. I started worrying that you might end up like them. I didn’t want to lose you, Cecil. That’s why I told you to wait a couple more months before coming.” Cecil nods slowly in response. He wasn’t expecting to see his brother so sad now. It hurt to see him almost at the brink of tears. “One month later, one of them was able to return safely to the school. The other is still missing to this day. We’re all hoping that he’s still alive and well, but the one who returned doesn’t believe it. He used to be so outgoing and bright. But now, the twinkle in his eyes faded out to become dull gems.”

Cecil stares at Otoya’s crestfallen face. “You must really care for them,” he says, earning a small nod from Otoya. Cecil puts his hand on Otoya’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that this happened to someone so close to you. It must’ve been terrible to go through something as horrific as that.”

“It was.” Otoya looks in Cecil’s direction. “Ever since then, he’s distanced himself from everyone else. He gave up on many of his aspirations, and barely even speaks anymore. I’m really worried for him, but I don’t really know what to do.”

“I don’t think I’m the type to give advice for something like this,” Cecil says, “but I think the best thing we could do now is to be there by his side, but not so much that it seems like we’re interfering with his life. We just have to be there and show that we will support him no matter what.”

Otoya hastily wipes his water-filled eyes water as he starts to smile again. “Thanks a lot, Cecil,” he says. “I’m really glad I’m able to talk to you like this. It’s like we can tell each other everything and still be as close as ever!”

Cecil’s hand limply falls off Otoya’s shoulder. “Yeah, everything.”

Otoya stands up and stretches his arms over his head. “Hey, Cecil! We still got to get you some friends! C’mon!”

Cecil pushes himself off the bench. But, he doesn’t immediately take off after his brother. “Hey, Otoya?” he calls.

Otoya turns around a bit. “Hm? What is it?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were the names of those two students?”

“Oh.” Otoya is now facing directly towards Cecil. “Well, the one who returned to school a month later is Syo Kurusu. The other who’s still missing to this day is, um. . .” Otoya takes a step back and turns around. “His name is Natsuki Shinomiya.”


	4. Chapter 4

Syo wakes up with a jolt.

He rapidly scans his room.

The panic within him slowly rises up.

_He_ can’t be here.

There’s no way _he_ should be here.

Syo just wants to forget.

But his dreams, his fears, _him_. . .

They don’t want him to forget.

Syo takes deep breaths, taking in his surroundings. No one else is here. It’s only him, like it should be. Syo breaths a sigh of relief, and falls back asleep.

*****

Syo wakes up again, only he isn’t in his bed. He’s returned to _that_ place. He carefully crawls his way off the platform he laid upon and spots a mirror not to far away. Slowly, he walks up to it. ‘ _Please don’t show it. Please don’t show it. Please don’t show it_ ,’ his mind begs. ‘ _I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see it._ ’ Syo covers his left eye in agonizing fear. It usually doesn’t take long for him to get to the mirror, but this time it felt like hours, days even. His breathing begins to pick up. He’s just staring at himself in the mirror. Himself with his tattered and torn school uniform, bruises on his arms and legs, and scars that adorn his right arm. How long has he been in this place? He didn’t know at the start.

“Syo. . . chan. . .” a voice whispers into his ear. “Syo. . . chan. . .”

Syo’s left hand moves on its own. Slowly and steadily, it reveals the truth he’s been covering up for so long. All he wanted to see were his two sky blue eyes staring back at him.

There’s only one though.

The other is a light summer green.

_His_ eye.

_Natsuki’s_ eye.

Syo wants to scream. He wants to look away. But, he can’t. He can’t scream. He can’t look away. He can’t run away from this. He never can.

“Syo. . . chan. . .” The voice returns, but with a figure. Syo sees it standing behind him in the reflection. “Syo-chan. . .” Every time the voice speaks, it sounds more painful.

Syo crouches down, covering his ears and shutting his eyes. “Go away. Go away! Go away!!” he begs. “Please, just go away!!”

“Syo-chan. . .” the voice says again, now weeping. “Why. . ? Why did you leave me. . ? Why didn’t you come save me. . ? I miss you. . .”

“Shut up! Shut up!! SHUT UP!!!” Syo screams. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

“Why?” the voice cries. “Why are you trying so hard to forget me?? Do you hate me that much?”

“JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!” Syo screeches, standing up and punching the mirror. The glass shards fly towards him, one coming very close in his sight.

*****

Syo falls to the floor. He quickly pushes himself up and looks around. “Another nightmare. . .” he mutters to himself. He slowly stands himself back up and looks at his clock. “Late again. . .” He sighs. “What’s the point in going today?” He lies down on his bed, too awake to fall back asleep.

Every night is the same dream. Syo wakes up in the same place, gets off the same platform, goes to the same mirror, and sees the same eye staring back at him. Only this time, he had a little more freedom in his actions. He brings his right hand into his sight. It’s still tingling from the contact to the mirror. A teardrop appears on his palm. Is he really crying? Now of all times?

God, he feels so pathetic.

Useless.

Weak.

Helpless.

Lonely.

“Natsuki. . .” he mutters, crying quietly to no one else but himself. “I’m so sorry. . . I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. . .”

_“Syo-chan. . .”_

Syo’s tears immediately stop. Was that really him? No, it can’t be! He’s. . .

_“Syo-chan. . .”_

Syo looks up to see what he wants to forget staring right down at him. “N-No. . .” he says. “Go away. Go away! Leave me alone!!” He backs away, quickly scanning the room, finding what he needs to stop this. He reaches and grabs it and covers up his left eye. Syo looks back to where the figure was standing, only to see that nothing is there anymore. He lets out a sigh of relief.

Syo waits around in his room until classes are over. When he hears the chatter and shuffles of students in the faint distance, he opens his door just a crack and quietly slips out. It’s become easier to blend with the crowd ever since he stopped wearing his hat. He doesn’t care about his height anymore. What’s the point of trying to look taller nowadays? He takes a turn to the outside, and looks down at the green grass beneath him. ‘ _Hopefully no one I know sees me—_ ‘

“Hey, Ochibi-chan.”

Syo clenches his teeth and balls his hands into fists.

“Where were you today? You weren’t in class.”

“Why do you care, Ren?” he mutters.

Ren tries to get into view of Syo’s face. “I thought you liked Ryuya-sensei’s classes. What’s with the sudden change?”

“Jinguji, please don’t bother him too much.”

Oh, great. Tokiya’s here, too.

“Huh? Aren’t you worried about Ochibi-chan as well?”

Tokiya sighs. “Yes, I am. However, it doesn’t mean we have to butt into his life.”

“I didn’t even get that close to him,” Ren argues. “Why are you acting as if I’m intruding on him?”

Their voices blur into one mesh in Syo’s ears. His eyebrows furrow the more they talk about him. He grits his teeth. He tightens the grip of his fists. He wants them to stop. He wants them to stop. He wants them to—

“STOP IT!!!” he screeches, taking Ren by the arm and throwing him into Tokiya. The two fall to the floor from the great force. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!!!” A crowd begins to gather around them. “What kind of fucking stupid idea do you guys have thinking that it will help me of all people?! You don’t know what the hell happened to me!! What gives you the right to think that whatever you’re doing is helping me?!” He glares daggers into Ren and Tokiya’s eyes. “I’ve had enough of all of you trying to ‘help’ me. Why can’t you just leave me alone for once?”

“Kurusu,” Tokiya says, “are you crying?”

Syo‘s sight is blurring, tears trickling down his cheeks. He turns around and pushes his way out of the crowd, hastily wiping his eyes dry. He runs and runs and runs.

Far away from Tokiya.

Far away from Ren.

Far away from Ryuya.

Far away from everyone.

Far away from everything.

Far away from _him_.

Syo finds himself back inside the school, back in the hallway where he and Natsuki were taken away. He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take any of it. He just wanted to forget.

But everything.

Tokiya.

Ren.

Ryuya.

Every fucking thing.

They’ll never let him forget.

They’ll never let Syo forget that Natsuki is dead.

That he left Natsuki to die.

That he couldn’t save Natsuki from dying.

And he hates it.

He hates himself.

He hates everything.

He just wants to forget.


	5. Chapter 5

It’s quiet.

Lonely.

Unbearable.

Natsuki stares down at his body lying on the floor. The puddle of blood stopped expanding days ago. His left eye is facing up, which is kinda saying a lot because he doesn’t have one anymore. Natsuki crouches down and turns his body over. A dry trail of blood flows down from his mouth down his chin. His right eye is clouded with death. The glasses he would always wear are now cracked, unable to be fixed. Natsuki sighs. He wishes that whatever happened never did. He wants to be with his friend again. He doesn’t want to be stuck in this state.

_“Syo-chan. . .”_ he mutters. _“Why? Why did you leave me here?”_

~~~~~

Natsuki opens his eyes. He’s not in that accursed place anymore. He’s in a forest, somehow. He turns to his left to see the face of someone he hadn’t seen in so long. _“Syo-chan?”_ he calls out, the happiest he’s ever sounded in a while. Syo looks up to where Natsuki is standing and screams. He moves back, fear in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?!” he yells.

_“Syo-chan,”_ Natsuki reaches out, _“it’s me, Natsuki. Don’t you remember me?”_

“No.” Syo clutches his head, shaking harshly. “No! You can’t be here! You’re not supposed to be here!!” He balls himself up and screams once more. “I thought you were gone for good. . .”

Natsuki gets down on his knees and stares into Syo’s eyes. His sky blue eyes would be staring back at Natsuki if one of them wasn’t replaced by his own green eye. _“Syo-chan. . .”_ Natsuki reaches out for Syo once again, trying to touch him.

“No. No!” Syo immediately covers up his left eye. “GO AWAY!!!”

Natsuki stops where he is, feeling the atmosphere around him change drastically. He lunges forward to give Syo a hug, but he couldn’t. Instead, he watches Syo’s breathing slowly relax as they both come to the realization that Natsuki can’t interfere with anything as long as Syo keeps his left eye covered. Syo quickly gets up and makes a break for it.

_“Syo-chan, wait!!”_ Natsuki shouts, chasing after him. He runs as fast as he can, but can never seem to catch up to Syo. When he reaches town, he’s lost track of where Syo has gone. There are people around him, but they don’t notice him at all. It’s understandable, since he’s a ghost and all now. Natsuki sighs in defeat, and wanders around. It’s funny, now that he thinks about it. Natsuki’s a ghost, yet he isn’t trapped in the place where he died anymore. Well, this is much better than watching your own body slowly rot away with nobody to find it.

Suddenly, he notices the daffodil blonde hair of his dear Syo leaving a building. Natsuki smiles, dashing towards his friend. It doesn’t take long for him to see that Syo didn’t take a single notice to him. He’s wearing some sort of eyepatch to cover up the summer green eye he now has.

Natsuki comes to an abrupt stop.

He can’t call out to Syo.

He can’t touch Syo.

He can’t do anything.

He’s invisible.

Nonexistent.

Nothing.

Natsuki couldn’t do anything else but cry. Does Syo really want to forget him that badly? Why? 

_“Syo-chan,”_ he weeps. _“Why? Why do you want to forget me? Do you really hate me that much?”_

“Kurusu?” a familiar voice calls out. Natsuki looks up. Masato stands before Syo, his eyes wide with shock. “Kurusu, is that really you?”

“Hijirikawa. . .” Syo mutters. “It’s you. . .” His body teeters left and right. “I’m. . . I’m back. . .” He closes his eyes and lets his body move on its own.

“Kurusu!!”

_“Syo-chan!!”_

Masato reacts quickly, catching Syo just in time. Natsuki could only just stare. Masato picks up Syo’s body and looks around. His breathing is rigid and his pupils have shrunk. Natsuki stares at Masato in silence as he closes his eyes and takes deep breaths. Masato opens his eyes and starts running the direction he came from, Natsuki following not too far behind. 

“Help!” Masato shouts. “Someone! Anyone! Help him, please!!” He runs closer and closer to a place Natsuki never expected to see right in his sight ever again.

_“Saotome Academy,”_ he whispers to himself. The place where he thought he’d be safe. But even a school this grand couldn’t keep him from dying. Natsuki slows his steps to a stop, taking in everything. He sees the students walking about. The familiar faces blurring away to nothing but blank slates. The distinct voices merging into white noise. He doesn’t believe that he’s been gone for that long, but now it feels like it’s been ages since he’s last seen life as bright as this one. It’s so sentimental that it’s almost putrid. 

“Masato?” Natsuki hears Otoya’s voice call out. He turns to the redhead, his hands clasped over his mouth. Otoya runs towards Masato, taking the fainted Syo out of his arms. “Syo,” he says, loud enough for people nearby to turn their heads. Quickly enough, a crowd begins to gather around Otoya, Masato, and Syo.

And, like before, Natsuki could only watch.

_“Syo-chan. . .”_ he cries, almost silent. _“Why did you leave me alone? I thought you were my friend. . . I trusted you. . .”_ He holds his hand up and clutches it tightly against his nonbeating heart. _“I loved you. . .”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter seems shorter than the others, and I’m really sorry about that ;-;
> 
> But, I’m pretty happy with how it came out.
> 
> I’ll try my best to make the chapters longer if I’m able to next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I’m terribly sorry for not updating this story for the past few weeks ;w;
> 
> But, I have finally finished this chapter :D
> 
> I hope it isn’t too much ówò

Ranmaru takes another stroll around the school. He’s forgotten how much he loved the fresh air. He would’ve gone running, but he has yet to find the motivation to. Soon, he would need to go out and buy groceries for Reiji, Ai, and Camus.

Speaking of those three, they all were given a better room to stay in about a week ago for the time being, since an old and decaying classroom isn’t really the healthiest environment. Their new place is quite spacious, feeling too much like a small home than a dorm. Probably understandable for four people living under one roof. There’s even furniture and separate bedrooms for each of them, as well as sinks and a bathtub with working water. Ranmaru doesn’t really understand why they have a bathtub and not a shower, though. Showers are probably more practical based on the school circumstances, but who know? Maybe they were just given special treatment. Well, no matter what, it was definitely really nice living together with the others like a family.

Wow, a family. It’s been so long since he’s known the feeling of such a concept. It makes him feel like an older brother with Ai and Camus usually coming to him for answers to their questions. It’s amazing how they can hold such innocence despite their upbringings. Ai is quite the mysterious person; he doesn’t talk about himself very often. When he does, it’s mainly about his interests and hobbies. Camus has quite the rough past, being from the Permafrost and all. There’s also the bandages he wears around his eyes, ones he’s unable to take off himself because he claims that they’re bound to him by magic.

Reiji, on the other hand, is a different being altogether. Ranmaru has never seen such a sight in his eyes. The man is so bright with color, his wings pure white other than the mint green tints at the ends. He’s stunning, beautiful even. But, Ranmaru is able to sense the pain within him. He’s hurt deep down, and Ranmaru wants to find why that is. But, he’s afraid to ask. Observing every time Reiji winces when Ai calls out his name, every time his eyes are about to release tears from looking at Ai, every time his lips quiver as he says “Ai Ai”. Ranmaru saw all of that. He doesn’t understand why Reiji feels so pained when he’s with Ai. They’ve been together for about a month, so why is Reiji acting like this now?

Ranmaru looks down at his watch. There isn’t much time left for him to be out. He should be getting back to Reiji and the others soon. There’s only so much time for him to be in the public view before his magenta eye—

“STOP IT!!!”

Ranmaru cringes. The scream rings in his ears. ‘ _What was that?_ ’

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TALKING ABOUT ME!!!”

He finds a small gathering of students not too far off. ‘ _Is that where the voice is coming from?_ ’ Ranmaru dashes towards the crowd and fits through a few small crevices left open. When he’s able to get a good opening, he pushes himself in to observe what’s going on. A short blond boy stands over two that seem to have been pushed over. One blue-gray and unknown to him, but the other sunny red and a distant memory. Both of them are obviously taller than the blonde. Speaking of that boy, his visible eye is coated with anger and fear, the other covered with an eyepatch.

“What kind of fucking stupid idea do you guys have thinking that it will help me of all people?! You don’t know what the hell happened to me!! What gives you the right to think that whatever you’re doing is helping me?!”

His screams hit a memory in Ranmaru’s mind.

Helpless.

Hopeless.

“I’ve had enough of all of you trying to ‘help’ me. Why can’t you just leave me alone for once?”

Abandonment.

Isolation.

“Kurusu,” the blue-gray-haired boy says, “are you crying?”

Ranmaru watches the blonde boy. Tears are running down his cheeks. He quickly turns around and pushes through the crowd. People watch him leave, mumbling about what they just saw. It doesn’t take long for them to disperse. Ranmaru tries to blend in with them, leaving as well. But, something stops him from moving ahead.

“Tokiya! Ren!” That redhead—Otoya was his name, right?—runs over to the two still on the ground, and helps them back up. Ranmaru stops walking, and instead hides behind the wall nearest to him. “Are you two okay? What happened?”

“Kurusu, he. . .” The one named Tokiya takes a deep breath. “Jinguji saw him as we were leaving class, and has made the choice to follow him. Unfortunately, Kurusu didn’t find the idea too appealing.”

Ren, the one Ranmaru feels he’s met somewhere before, sighs. “I want to apologize to him, but I don’t think he’d accept it so easily.”

“Well then, let’s go find him!” Otoya proposes.

“I believe that wouldn’t be the best choice of action,” Tokiya says. “Kurusu isn’t in the right state to talk to anyone at the moment. Drawing more attention to him might make it harder to get a word out of him. We need to give him some space for now, and let him come to us when he’s ready.”

“Oh, okay. . .” Otoya looks down at his feet. “I really want him to feel better, you know? I want to be able to talk and laugh with him again.”

“I think a lot of people feel the same way, Ikki.” Ren looks towards Ranmaru’s direction. The two lock eyes immediately.

Ranmaru mouths a “Shit!” and immediately turns away to run. He runs as fast as he can back to their new place in the school. When he reaches the hallway they are now residing in, he turns back to see that Ren didn’t seem to be following him. Letting out a sigh, he turns and opens the door. His sense of security immediately drops as he sees someone sitting and talking to Reiji on the couch.

“Welcome back, Ran Ran!” Reiji greets. “How was your walk?”

The other person on the couch looks up to Ranmaru. His piercing pale ocean blue eyes send shivers down Ranmaru’s spine. He hesitantly bows and mutters, “I’m gonna be going to my room.”

“Huh?” Reiji stands up. “You promised to go out and buy groceries for us, though.”

“Yeah, I know.” Ranmaru avoids eye contact with the two other people in the room. “I just. . . I need to rest, okay?” He runs into the short hallway towards his room, and locks the door behind him. His breathing grows heavily every other second as he slides down to the floor.

Why?

How?

Of all people, why _them_?

It’s been years since he’s last seen those two.

“Masato. . . Ren. . .” he quietly says. “How did we end up meeting again?”

Ranmaru stands up and goes to look at himself in the mirror. More specifically, his eyes. He watches as his magenta eye slowly forms back into it’s original state. “Guess I’ll have to wait a minute or so before I can change it again.” He walks over to a plastic bag he left in the corner of his room. Reaching a hand into it, he pulls out a bag of barbecue-flavored chips. Fueling up like this usually helps with quickening the process. In his opinion, it’s a much better alternative than the more sufficient and “traditional” way he has to feed. He grits his teeth in frustration, popping the bag open, then begins to aggressively chow down.

He still remembers everything that happened that night. He was a goddamn idiot for thinking that doing that will solve all his problems. Because of that, he was never able to return back home anyone; he had to keep on moving forward, no matter how torturous it was. Every step he took, he put himself farther and farther away from his friends and family. It hurt him every second.

He crumples up the now empty bag and throws it into the trash. Ranmaru stands up and walks back over to the mirror. He takes deep breaths to steady his mind once again. After a bit of pep talk, he manages to change his magenta eye back to its human form. “Alright, I think that’s enough for me.” He grabs his wallet, unlocks the door, and walks back out into the living room.

He sees Reiji waving goodbye to Masato. When Reiji turns around, he lets out a huff. “There you are, Ran Ran,” he says, standing in front of Ranmaru. “I was worried about you, you know? I never saw you act that way before. Are you okay?”

Ranmaru sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just kinda stressed from watching a small incident happen while walking around.”

“Oh?” Reiji raises an eyebrow. “Was it about that short blonde kid?”

“Yeah. . .” Ranmaru tilts his head. “How did you know?”

“Things like that around here tend to spread like wildfire more often than ever before. Especially when he’s one of the kidnapped students.”

Ranmaru stares at Reiji’s crestfallen face. He knows something. He always knows something. But, what was it?

Reiji looks back up at Ranmaru, then shakes his head. “Never mind me, Ran Ran!” he says. “You need to go get the groceries, right?” Reiji hands him some money. “Here you go! Oh, wait a minute.” He runs to an open window, pushes his head out, and shouts, “Ai Ai! Myu-chan! He’s ready to go!”

“What’s that all about?” Ranmaru questions.

“Oh, that?” Reiji pulls himself back inside. “Those two wanted to go with you really badly. Well, more specifically Myu-chan. Ai Ai didn’t want to leave him alone, so he chose to tag along, too. Is that alright with you?”

Ranmaru shrugs. “I guess it’ll be okay.”

“Great!” Reiji runs over to the door, and opens it widely. “They’re waiting for you at the ground floor. You better not keep them waiting, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ranmaru rolls his eyes. “I’m going, then. See ya later, Reiji.”

“Bye bye!!”

Ranmaru walks through the school building, going down staircase to hallway to staircase again until he reaches the bottom. Ai and Camus stand at the bottom of the last staircase, waiting for Ranmaru.

“Oi, you two,” Ranmaru calls. “Are we going or not?”

Ai turns around. “Ranmaru.” He takes Camus’ hand. “You’re here.”

“Of course I am.” Ranmaru walks around them. “Let’s go. You can help me with carrying the food back. Camus might have to be given less to carry si—“

“I can carry just as much as you both can,” Camus grumbles.

Ranmaru shrugs. “Alright. Next time, don’t interrupt me. You got it?” Ai and Camus nod in unison. “Good. Now, let’s get going. We don’t want to keep Reiji waiting.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> Again. . .
> 
> I apologize again for another sudden long hiatus; school has been hitting me hard as of recent, so I rarely have time to update things and stuff of the same matter.
> 
> Luckily for me, I’ve had some of the chapters prewritten and almost ready to post! I’ll just need to reread them over again and fix some mistakes within them :3

Rain drizzles down on the campus. Ren stares as it hits the window then slides away in dismay. His mind has been jumbled lately. First, meeting Masato again after years of being apart. Second, Natsuki and Syo’s disappearance and Syo’s reappearance. Third, Ranmaru.

Of all people, he didn’t plan on finding Ranmaru at this school. His fist tightens its grip just from the thought of him. He doesn’t believe he’s been holding this grudge against him for such a long time. It was something petty from childhood, yet he is still unable to let it go. It hurt him back then. It still hurts him now.

“Jinguji-san,” Tokiya calls. “It’s time that we leave.”

“Y-Yeah. . .” Ren stands up from his seat. “Okay, let’s go.”

“The rain doesn’t seem to be stopping today.” Tokiya walks out of the classroom. “I’m guessing that we won’t be able to go out today.”

“I’m okay with that,” Ren mutters, following after Tokiya.

“Are you still trying to patch things up with Hijirikawa-san?”

“Yeah. . .”

Tokiya sighs. “You know he doesn’t want to talk to you, so why are you still trying to push it?”

“You already know why, Ichi.”

“Do I really?”

They pass by Natsuki and Syo’s room on the way to the cafeteria. Ren takes a quick glance of the door before turning back forward.

“Jinguji-san,” Tokiya says, “there’s nothing we can do about it now. You heard what he said to us yesterday.”

“I know, but I’m worried for him.” Ren looks down. “He’s unable to face himself because he believes he’s become weak. I want to tell him he’ll be okay.”

“Will he really be okay?”

“Ichi,” Ren pushes himself in front of Tokiya, “whose side are you even on? What is with the cryptic speech?”

Tokiya steps back in response. He takes a few deep breaths, then pushes himself past Ren. “Come, let’s just go and eat.”

Ren watches Tokiya walk away from him. Knowing that he won’t be able to get anything out of him, Ren just sighs and catches up to him.

They get to the cafeteria just fine. There isn’t such a big crowd as usual, and the line is pretty short for once. A rarity on a rainy day. Tokiya and Ren stand in line, get their food, and sit down with their friends. Just like any other normal day.

“Hello, everyone,” Tokiya greets.

“Tokiya, Ren, hi!” Otoya waves happily. “Been a while, hasn’t it?”

Ren looks across the table to see Masato delicately cutting his meal into small pieces. Oh, how he admires his intricacy.

“I tried to get Syo to sit with us today.”

Masato picks a piece up with his fork.

“Again? Otoya, I told you to leave him alone.”

Masato slowly raises the fork up to his mouth.

“But, he’s our friend, too!! Friends sit with friends!”

Masato takes a bite of his lunch.

“He’s troubled right now. Having more people around him will just make him more stressed.”

Masato.

Just Masato.

Masato looks up. “Stop staring at me. It’s very rude.”

Ren snaps out of his trance. “Oh, sorry. . .” He eyes Tokiya and Otoya next to them, who are too enveloped in their own conversation. He focuses back on Masato, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Don’t say anything.”

Ren quickly shuts his mouth. Masato is now glaring at him.

“I know what you were about to say. Before you actually do, let me tell you this: I do not want to be friends with you again.”

Ren’s pupils shrink. His fingers begin to twitch.

“The only reason why we are both here right now is because Otoya is our friend. He may be my friend and your friend, but you are nowhere near my friend. Not after everything that happened before.”

Ren didn’t say anything. Instead, he just stands up and walks away.

Otoya turns around. “Ren, where are you going?” he asks.

“Jinguji-san,” Tokiya stands up as well, “you haven’t touched your lunch at all. You can’t be leaving so suddenly like that.”

Ren ignores them completely. He continues walking out of the cafeteria, not daring to look back at Masato’s deathly glare. If he wants him gone so badly, then so be it. He’ll find a way to disappear.

“E-Excuse me.”

Ren stops mid-step. He turns around to see a boy with tan skin and emerald-like eyes looking at him warily. He gets into a more casual stance and fully faces him. “Yes? What is it?” he questions a bit more harshly than he usually would.

The boy steps back a little. “U-Um. . .” he mutters. “I was wondering where the cafeteria was. I’m supposed to be meeting my brother there.”

“Oh, really?” Ren takes a step towards the other. “Who’s your brother?”

“Otoya.”

“Ah, so that makes you Cecil, correct?”

Cecil’s eyes widen. “How do you know my name? We’ve only just met.”

“Ikki talks about you quite often.” Ren smiles in Cecil’s direction. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen you around at all, despite being here for. . . How long has it been now?”

“It’s been a month since I transferred in.”

“I see.” Ren slings an arm over Cecil’s shoulders. “Tell you what? Maybe you and I can sit together for today. I’d like to get to know you better.”

Cecil swiftly pulls himself out of Ren’s grasp. “But I promised Otoya that I would sit with him today. He wants me to eat with him in the cafeteria.” Cecil looks at his lunch, then back at Ren. “Wait, you’re one of Otoya’s friends, right?”

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Why aren’t you sitting with him?”

“Oh, well—“

“Jinguji-san!!” Tokiya shouts from far behind them. Ren curses under his breath and quickly grabs Cecil’s wrist, sprinting off.

“H-Hey!!” Cecil shouts. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Getting out of here, that’s what.” Ren drags Cecil around a couple of corners and up and down flights of stairs, trying to derail Tokiya from their tracks. “Quick question, where do you usually eat?”

“In the abandoned part of the school. I like sitting there because there aren’t many people.”

“That’s a good idea, actually.” Ren stops the both of them when they finally reach their destination. “Well, I guess we’ll be taking refuge here for now.” He turns to Cecil, hands on his hips. “So, what do you have on you?”

“H-Huh?” Cecil clutches his lunch close to his chest. “Did you really take me all the way up here because I have food?”

Ren laughs. It’s been a while since he’s laughed like this. “Of course not. I only brought you along so Ichi doesn’t go on questioning you. It took me about now to realize I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“If that’s so,” Cecil sits by the wall and and unwraps his lunch. It’s stored in a cute bento box decorated with Piyo-chan stickers. He opens the lid and holds the pair of chopsticks stored inside. “Oh, shoot. It’s all jumbled.”

“Heh, sorry about that.” Ren slides down next to Cecil. “Are you a fan of Piyo-chan?”

Cecil pops some of the stir fry Otoya made into his mouth. “Is that what the bird is named?”

“Yeah.” Ren chuckles. “I used to have a friend who was obsessed with Piyo-chan. His dorm would be covered head to toe with Piyo-chan merch. It was pretty adorable.” He sighs. “Shinomi was a good person. . .”

“I heard that he likes to cook,” Cecil says, holding a piece of shrimp out to Ren. “Here, you can have this. I don’t like seafood, anyways.”

“Thanks.” Ren takes it whole. “Yeah, Shinomi was a great cook. His food was amazing.”

“Otoya said that he was scary when he cooks, and the food he makes compliments that.”

“They’re just jealous that they can’t cook as great as he can.” Ren laughs again. Cecil joins in as well.

“Natsuki sounds like a great friend,” he says, holding out another piece of shrimp for Ren. “I wish I was able to meet him.”

“I wish I was able to see him again.” Ren takes the shrimp once again. “I can’t believe it’s already been four months since he’s been gone.”

Cecil finishes the rest of the stir fry and looks down at his bento box. The only food left were two onigiri that Otoya made for him. He takes one and gives it to Ren. “Here, take this. I don’t think two pieces of shrimp will savor you for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, thank you.” Ren takes the offered onigiri. “It’s been a while since I ate a jelly-filled donut.”

“Jelly-filled?!” Cecil quickly pulls his onigiri apart, finding there to be no jelly within. “Oh.”

Ren laughs a little harder. “I didn’t expect you to fall for that joke! I thought everyone knew that one.” Cecil pouts and stuffs his mouth with the smaller half of his onigiri. Ren couldn’t help but smile some more. “Where have you been all my life?”

“Hmm?” Cecil looks back at Ren with confusion.

“I’ve never thought I’d meet someone who could brighten up my day in just a span of minutes. Well,” Ren stares at the ground, “someone other than Masa. . .” He clutches his head in shame. “And just to think, I was actually planning on getting rid of myself for his sake.”

“You like him a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.” Ren sighs, leaning back. “I was quite the idiot for actually thinking he might have forgiven me.”

Cecil scoots a little closer to Ren and leans on him. “If you don’t mind, we can spend our time up here eating with each other,” he proposes. “Just the two of us. Me and you.”

Ren wraps Cecil’s pinky finger with his. “I’d like that,” he says. “I need a break from everyone.”

“Wanna meet here again tomorrow?”

“Sure, why not?”

In the distance, two people watch the two converse from around the corner.


	8. Chapter 8

Tokiya stares at the gun in its case. He hasn’t taken it out of its holding ever since he stepped foot onto this campus. He didn’t feel the need to. In order to try and keep it with him—because his family told him to keep it with him at all costs—he had to make up a story about how it’s a model revolver he kept close to his heart because it belonged to a late relative of his. Despite that great lie, the gun was very much real. A real gun he is able to control and handle and shoot from. But, he never did. He has a couple of times, but that was before he was allowed into this school.

“Tokiya,” Otoya sits next to him, “what went on with Ren today?”

“I don’t know, Otoya.” Tokiya continues to stare at his gun. “He wasn’t acting like that before we got to the cafeteria.”

“Do you probably think it has something to do with something Masato said?”

“As of now, I am not so certain. He and Hijirikawa-san used to be close. But, even if that is so, we cannot assume the obvious so quickly.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Otoya stands up. “I’m gonna go find Cecil. I was supposed to introduce him to you and Ren at lunch, but he never showed up.”

“I did see Jinguji-san with someone before he ran away,” Tokiya says. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a good enough look of him before he was getting dragged along.”

“Huh, that’s strange.” Otoya grabs his coat and opens the door. “Well, I’m off.”

“Please be careful, it’s still raining.”

“Yeah, I got it, Tokiya!”

The door gently shuts behind him. Tokiya sighs and goes back to putting all of his focus on the gun in its case. _‘Why did I agree to bring this with me? There isn’t any need for it at this school.’_ He stands up in a huff, and sits down on his bed. _‘No one here is that suspicious.’_ He glances out the window to see two of the new members of Saotome Academy walking outside in the rain. _‘Well, except those new people. They appeared out of nowhere; what isn’t suspicious about them?’_ He gets up from his bed and gets himself a better view of the outside. _‘What are they doing out in this weather?’_ The shorter of the two—Reiji, if he remembers correctly—looks up at him and waves delightfully. Tokiya slowly waves back, and leaves the window. He sighs again, and picks up a book to read.

__

It doesn’t take long until he gets a knock at the door. He opens it up, his eyes meeting unfamiliar emerald green ones. The same person he had seen Ren run off with. “H-Hello,” the stranger says, “is Otoya here?”

__

“No, he left a few minutes ago.”

__

The stranger wilts. “Oh. . . Okay. Sorry to have wasted your time.” He begins to make his way out of Tokiya’s sight, but a strong grip on his wrist stops him mid-step. “Hey!!”

__

“Please apologize me for asking, but what is your name?” Tokiya asks. “I’d like to get to know you better.” The stranger turns back around, his captivating yet strange eyes attracting Tokiya to him. “You don’t have to give it to me, but I have a feeling we’ll be meeting again. So, I want to be able to remember you.”

__

“Cecil,” the stranger says. “My name is Cecil Aijima.” Otoya’s brother. This boy is Otoya’s little brother he talks so much about. Tokiya intentively stares at Cecil for a moment, making the latter a little uncomfortable. “Um, what’s your name?”

__

Tokiya lets go of Cecil’s wrist. “Tokiya,” is all he said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aijima-san.”

__

“Yeah, you, too.” Cecil takes a step away from Tokiya. “I’m gonna go now.”

__

“I wish you luck.” Tokiya closes and locks the door once Cecil is out of his sight. He opens up the case, and pulls out his gun. He stares at the intricate designs that scatter the hold. The barrel rotates around as he turns his view to his reflection in the dorm room’s mirror. “W-Wait. Why am I holding this?” He quickly places it back in the case he got it out from. “I shouldn’t be so careless about using that. But. . .”

__

Cecil’s eyes flash again in his mind.

__

“I feel as if there’s something off with him. But, I can’t seem to put my finger on it.” Tokiya stares at himself in the mirror. “However, his eyes seem to be a bit unnatural in a sense.”

__

The image of Ren running away from him with Cecil come up visibly within his sight.

__

Tokiya bumps his forehead up against the mirror. “God damnit,” he mutters.

__

~~~~~

__

Otoya steps out into the rain, now becoming a little more light. “Alright, where was their place again?”

__

“Otoyan!!” Reiji shouts from afar.

__

“Rei-chan?” Otoya finds Reiji and Ranmaru standing not too far away from him. He smiles, and runs toward the two. “Hey! So, you wanted me to come visit your place, right?”

__

“Yep!” Reiji answers. “I have a feeling you’ll get along well with everyone there. What do you think, Ran Ran?”

__

Ranmaru shrugs. “I guess I wouldn’t mind it.”

__

Otoya looks around. “Where’s Ai-senpai and Camus-senpai?”

__

“They’re back at our place,” Reiji explains. “Ai Ai isn’t very fond of the rain, and Myu-chan wanted to stay with him.”

__

“Aww!! They sound like such great friends!”

__

Reiji chuckles. “They are! I have rarely ever seen them apart. When we got our own rooms, Ai Ai insisted that he and Myu-chan share a room.”

__

“No matter how many times Reiji said ‘no’, he would still sneak into Camus’ room at night and sleep with him,” Ranmaru adds in. “He thinks that nobody knows about this, but I could always hear him loud and clear.”

__

“Ran Ran tells me everything about it! He always sounds like a big brother when he does, too.”

__

“I do not!!”

__

Otoya laughs. “You all sound like you care for each other a lot. I’d like to hear more stories like this.”

__

“Well, I’d love to tell you all of them!” Reiji grabs Otoya and Ranmaru’s hands. “But, I can’t tell them all out here in this kind of gloomy weather. C’mon, let’s go!!”

__


	9. Chapter 9

Ranmaru immediately lunges towards his bed as soon as he locked the door to his room. He tightens his grip onto his pillow and attempts to steady his breath. His vision is blurring with his surroundings. He can’t concentrate. He needs to concentrate. He must not let that side of him come out. That accursed shadow following him wherever he went.

He didn’t mean to do what he did. It wasn’t his intention at all. Just seeing Masato in their home again. His face just sent him into an uproar. He didn’t know how deep the gash he made on him was.

Ranmaru slowly brings his hand into view. The smell of blood heightens as he watches it slowly run down his arm. Blood that didn’t belong to him. His breathing is getting faster the more it stays in his vision.

He wants to leave.

He wants to leave.

He wants to leave.

A knock comes from the door. “Ran Ran?”

Reiji’s voice rings in Ranmaru’s ears.

Why?

Why??

Why?!

“Leave me alone,” he mutters.

“Now, Ran Ran, that isn’t very nice.” Reiji’s voice is so calm. How can he stay like that after what he had seen? “Please, I need talk to you. Can’t you let me in?”

“No, I can’t,” Ranmaru says harshly. “Go away. I’m just fine.”

“You’re not ‘just fine’, Ran Ran,” Reiji says. “I know you aren’t.” Ranmaru doesn’t say anything in return. “Ranmaru,” Reiji lets out, barely audible, “please.”

That’s the first time Reiji called him by his name. Not any old simple nickname. Actually Ranmaru.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. I know how it feels to be in that position. If you don’t want to talk, then I won’t bother you anymore. I just want you to know that I will always be there for you. I care for you. Every single thing about you. You don’t have to tell me everything now, but I will always wait on the other side of the door, ready to listen to you.”

Ranmaru hears Reiji’s steps slowly fading away. He couldn’t take it anymore. He jumps out of his bed, unlocks his door, and hugs Reiji from the back. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” He feels Reiji hold his hand. He knows he’ll be okay.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ranmaru doesn’t make any gesture. “That’s okay, Ran Ran. I’ll still wait for you. Otoyan and Hijirin have already left, so you don’t have to worry.” Reiji walks Ranmaru back out to the living room where Ai and Camus are. When Ranmaru sees what they’re doing, the guilt trapped inside grows drastically.

“My apologies, Mikaze,” Camus says softly. “It’s a bit difficult to navigate.”

“You’re doing alright.” Ai winces as Camus places a piece of cloth on an open wound on his arm. “I’ll be okay, I promise.”

Ranmaru didn’t strike Masato. Ai was able to get in front of him right in time. He took the blow for him. As Ai’s gaze turns to Ranmaru, he just gives him a forgiving smile. “It’s not your fault, Ranmaru.”

Reiji takes Camus’ place and tends to Ai’s wounds himself. “Alright, it’s been a while since I’ve done this. But, if it’s able to heal you, it’s worth the chance.” Reiji gently places a hand on Ai’s arm and mutters a couple phrases. Ranmaru and Ai watch as Reiji slowly slides his hand down, revealing skin that has no sign of puncture. His hand rests on Ai’s as he looks into the teal pupils in front of him. “You okay?”

Ai’s shocked expression softens. “Yeah, I feel good as new.” He smiles. “Thank you, Reiji.”

Reiji suddenly steps back, a split second of surprise in his eyes before they return back to their neutral state. He turns away from Ai and walks back to Ranmaru. “You’re welcome.” He takes Ranmaru’s blood-covered hand, tears dropping onto it. “Let’s get you cleaned up, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last sudden update out of all the chapters I’ve written as of now. I’m working on the next one right now, and hope I’ll be able to get it done soon ^w^

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, Chapter 1 finally complete.
> 
> It's shorter than I intended it to be, but no matter.
> 
> I don't exactly know when will be the next time I update this, but I'm gonna try and keep myself up with a very flexible update schedule.
> 
> Thank you for reading this far into my story! I hope you enjoyed what I've gotten so far ^w^


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